I hate it , i seriously do. The purpose of you blogging up is to show us what your thinking and how you want us to do. I am seriously tired of trying to get you , trying to maintain all these relations. Can't you see ? If i am that unmovable as you claim , as heartless as you said , i believe you would not even bother to blog all those up , that is because you know that after reading i might inflict some guilt in me ? But what do you know ? WE are all here trying our best , but yet you blame it all on me ? We have gifts , cards , surprises for you , but what did you do to us ?! MIA ? Gone what MALAYSIA?! Yes , i am putting it upfront to your face. You have to know , and your our best-friend , truths are suppose to prick and hurt. You have hurt us deeply too. I bet you don't know , you don't even care. All you care is to self-pity yourself and to make it seems like your having an all time suffering bitchy life.

We loved you and we know everything might have been harsh on you ,and i know that perhaps i am the closest one to you. But do you know , this shoulder , this friend that have always been here for you have been so badly neglected ? Have been so badly trashed aside ?

You called , i called back. You texted i texted back , even IF you said your not free , i pushed all my appoinments to make time for you , and asked you out continuously for almost 2 weeks, sometimes without receiving any replies from you.

Do you know exactly how that feels ?! i know carmen does. And do note that , in this world there are people who are as busy as you are or even worse, i am trying to make a point that we need effort from both sides. You don't sleep ? Heck , you have been crying , that's why you don't sleep. Self-pitying that is. What i have been doing , is to let you know i am there for you , but do you even care ? you blamed i assume , you blamed i accuse , but did i ? DID i ?

I feel like a fool replying you , as if not giving you enough evidence to get back to me. I know karma bites back . But what can i do when i need to pull someone so close to me back?

If you do care , and you do read.

Please be free on the 22nd , or towards the end to count down of the year. BY THE WAY ; i sent you a text about this , but you didn't get back to me. AS ALWAYS.

P.s: I am really pissed , but i still love you. GOD SAVE ME.